Perfect Love 6

PERFECT LOVE

Copyright © Ufuomaee

VOLUME ONE - CHAPTER SIX

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..." (2 Cor 10:5).

And then it happened.  Trouble came knocking.  But I was the one who poked the bear...

A couple of days after I dropped that message for you, I got a notification on my Instagram that Demilade Adetunji wanted to send me a message!  OMG!  To say my heart was racing would be an understatement.  Why and how do you still have this effect on me?!

I must have looked at that notification for at least a minute, not knowing whether to accept or reject it.  This was what I wanted, right?  For you to get in touch with me...  To let me into your world again.  I was only curious.

But Wisdom said "NO".  It was very clear, until my desire dulled the counsel of the Lord.  What was the harm?  It was only a greeting...  Friends reconnecting.  Of course, nothing would happen between us, because we are both married now...  Not like before, when I was engaged to Charles and you were seriously involved.

But what about the pain?!  Oh, I remember the pain so well.  I know how long I grieved for you.  How powerless I was over you.  How wicked you were to me.  Why should I give you the chance to make me weak again...sabotage my relationship with God and throw away the years of growth I've had without you in my life?

But it is true, as they say, that curiosity killed the cat...  And I was a sucker for curiosity; for you.  I closed my eyes, and let my heart decide and accepted your request.

"Hey, you!" you had written, so jovially.

A wide smile had spread across my face.  I hate you! - My brain told my heart to believe, but my heart was deaf and blind to any warnings from my mind or spirit!  It was soaring on a cloud, floating in weightlessness, caring for nothing but for the pleasure of this encounter.

I calmed myself down before I wrote "Hi, Lade".  And then I fell back on the sofa feeling like a stranger in my body.  I was falling again...with just a word from you and I was lost in desire and passion.  Are you the devil?

You didn't respond immediately, so I clicked on your profile picture and visited your Instagram page.  That's where a world of pain opened up to me!  You had totally moved on...  You had a wonderful life in the present, and here I was still stuck in the past.

Your latest picture was of your newly born baby boy, looking so cute and angelic in a picture-perfect, black and white portrait.  It was posted over a week ago.  There were more pictures of you and your wife, your family, friends, colleagues and business associates.  There were also some inspirational messages you shared and others you reposted from other people's timelines, and I was surprised to see that they were deeply spiritual messages about God's love...

What do you know about it???  So, you're now a Believer?  Saved?!  What took you soooo long, I thought in condescension and agony?!

I scrolled back to the top of your profile page and read your About message: "Son of the Most High God.  The Priest of my home.  Letting my light shine for His glory!"

"Yeeehhh!!!" I exclaimed, as conviction struck my heart.  Your intentions were pure, and mine were not.  I, who am the daughter of the Great King...a Minister of His Word, thought evil of you and didn't care to reach out to you to spread the love of Christ, only to feed my need...my flesh.

Oh, God forgive me!  Please take this obsession away...  Please God!  Help me to love this Brother and my Sister, his wife, with YOUR love...  And God please...give me the grace to love my husband and build my own home.  Amen.

Moments later, I got a new notification of your response to me.  I clicked to read it, my hands trembling.  Oh, wretched human that I am...  Why have I put myself in this situation - again?!

"Thanks for the birthday greeting 🙂 I saw it on Ola's post."

And that's when I thought, why didn't you just respond to me there?  What are you looking for in a private chat?  But the fact that you are now saved, a Believer, just like me, made me reconsider and believe that this re-connection was actually harmless.  Certainly, your intentions were pure.  And I was also reminded of the need to purify my heart, and bring every thought into captivity, submission and obedience to Christ, my Lord.

"You're welcome.  How was it?"  I deleted the second sentence before posting my reply, because there's really no point fueling a discussion or relationship with you.  God was right.  I shouldn't have reached out to you nor accepted your offer to chat again.  My heart is filled with more wickedness than I could ever know...  Better to be cautious.

But you did not show such caution.  You carelessly reached out to me as you wrote back; "It's been so long...  How are you?"

Staring at the message, I yell in my mind, God, what am I to do with this man?!  Should I ignore his message and run away?  I ask the Lord.  But He doesn't answer me; rather He leaves me to my own devices...  And now, I'm in trouble!

To be continued…

Photo credit: www.pixabay.com

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