"For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief" (Proverbs 24:16).
I've recently woken up from a deep sleep, and a near fatal fall. I was in the Lord's palace, adorned as a princess of the Most High, able to come in and out of His presence as I chose...but my heart was wicked. I did not value the riches of His Kingdom, and took His love for granted. I traded my royal garments for a place in the world. Attracted by the lights, the pleasures of sin and the lies of the enemy, I forsook my cross.
I don't know how long I was asleep for, but in the Lord's palace, I was missed. He did not give up on me, nor withdraw the search party. His presence followed me, and kept me safe. His counsel came when I sought it, and He let me know I was still loved. Because my heart was hard, I refused to see that I was hurting Him. I told myself that I was just having fun, that I can't be so serious and religious all the time, and soon, I'll go back and resume my duties. But the time passed, and I soon forgot who I was, or to Whom I belonged.
In His mercy, the Lord sent me a message...that my life was in danger - that I was failing in my assignment. That shook me up, and I stirred in my sleep briefly. It was significant enough to shift the direction of my dream... From this Heavenly blast, I decided to pursue my passion for the less privileged, and not let myself be hindered by my fear. But like Martha, I immensed myself in this work (Luke 10:41-42), but still kept my distance from the Lord, lest I become overly 'righteous'.
You know, I've been there before... My initial zeal for the Lord set me alight with an uncontrollable fire. I wanted to save the world for Him, and gave all, but my body to be burned, to follow after Him. But somehow, in my zeal, I took a wrong turn, and was led astray. My loving heart became filled with bitterness and judgment against my brethren, and the light within me became darkness. Despite my increased knowledge of His word, I did not have His heart in me; I did not abide in His love, and couldn't bear fruit. So, after that awful episode, I feared the passion within, and desired a 'safe' Christianity. I became mediocre.
But then, His love broke through into my dream. I didn't know His surgeons were over my comatose body. I didn't know the many hours they laboured over me. I soon began to respond to His touch, I could sense His presence again. Little by little, I began to hear His instruction, and follow His direction. I started to proclaim in my dream what the Father was telling me. As I ministered, health filled my body...and I came to! I remembered who I was, I remembered my mission, I remembered my Father.
I woke up joyful, but remorseful. I almost died. I almost slipped away. I threw it all away for brief moments of pleasure that left no satisfaction, nor trace of joy. What a cheap trade, to choose the world and lose my life source (Luke 9:25)! I never want to be so stupid again. Seeing the Father again, and looking at my wretched state, I couldn't help but cry. I didn't deserve His love; not the first time, and not now - after I rubbed His name in the mud! What amazing love He has shown to me, time and time again.
Now I know I can do nothing without Jesus. He said, 'no one comes to Me unless the Father calls him' (John 6:44), and that I did not choose Him, but He chose me (John 15:16). Still He says that I cannot bear any fruit unless I abide in Him, and in His love (John 15:4; 9), by denying myself every single day from now on (Luke 9:23). So, I have picked up my cross again. It is not too hard to bear (Matt 11:28-30), because I always remember that apart from Christ, I can do nothing (John 15:5), but with Him, I can do all things (Phil 4:13). Lord, I don't want to fall away from You again! Better death than that.
If this sounds like your experience with the Father, this message is for you. It is not too late to cry for Him to help, to wake you up and create in you a clean heart again (Psa 51:10). He is on standby waiting for your call, and He promises to forgive all, holding nothing against you (Mic 7:18-19). You don't know if you have tomorrow. He has been merciful so far, but soon the end will come, and then judgment (Heb 9:27). So He says, "today, if you hear My voice, don't harden your heart" (Heb 3:15). Come back to the Father.
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Lovely piece… Have realised that the many times we fall, we learn what is useful for the mission of our lives. We know the feel of the shoes of the many we were sent to.
View CommentReblogged this on ufuomaee.
View CommentThis is lovely….and no mater how many times we rise and fall our lord God is always ready and available to have us back and to make us stable….thank God for your life.
View CommentThanks Phillip! I appreciate you checking in and encouraging me. Have a great day.
View CommentGod bless you today and forever
View CommentThank you, Elizabeth! God bless you too 🙂
View CommentIt took courage to write this message Ufuomaee and Love for others in wanting to warn them, you were open and real, no masks. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
I also fell into sin but not away by rejecting Jesus but He rescued me too, I will leave the link for you to save detail here, thank you again.
Rescued- http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/jesus-rescued-his-lost-sheep/
Christian Love in our Unity in Christ Jesus – Anne.
View CommentThanks for this encouragement, Anne! I try to be real and honest, so that people can relate and be encouraged to persevere through their own trials. This was one of the few posts that I felt God directing me word for word. When I started writing it, all I had was the verse! And it was finished under 30 mins…
Thanks for the link to your testimony. It’s very inspiring too 🙂
View CommentI can relate to this story, I have been here myself. My life has been filled with moments of great zeal and bare mediocrity. Yet the Lord has kept me close in heart anyway. His love for me always keeps my faith convicted and I am very thankful for His love and grace. I still look for ways to serve Him, but we all have gifts which we are to use in His service to others. Right now, I write this blog and participate in encouraging others and bible studies.
I am trying to open my heart to allow Him to use me according to His plans. It is a life long effort! May you be so encouraged in His service as well!
Steve
View CommentI am always encouraged by those who share my hope, and those who come to a new revelation of God’s love because of my writing. Thanks for sharing your own experience. We need to encourage each other.
Have a great day!
View CommentThat’s why God set up fellowship bonds with people of like faith. We do need to encourage one another in the word of God and help and pray for those we know who may be in need of God’s loving attention.
Share in one another’s joy and sorrow, build up with strength and give Godly love at all times. This is part of the Christian duty…
Enjoy your weekend, Ufuoma!
View CommentYou too dear! Thanks 🙂
View CommentI used to take great comfort from the text “The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand.” (Psalm 37:23-23)
But now I am confronted by “If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever.” (1 Chronicles 28:9)
What do you do, when you can’t believe any more?
View CommentHi Peter, thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting.
Are you saying you don’t believe anymore? If you are, may I ask when and why you stopped believing..?
I have thought at times when I’ve seen how wicked I am… when I’ve fallen so far and filled with so much shame that God could never take me back… I’ve felt like an absolute failure… destined to make the same mistake… horribly displeasing and unworthy. In those feelings, there was no hope or comfort. Saying that there is no God and no need for me to feel terrible for my sins never solved anything. What resolved it for me was knowing who God really is… knowing that He loves the broken, the sinner, the weak, the desperate… He loves us to come just as we are and welcomes us even when we fear that He will reject us. At the lowest possible point, when we feel most unworthy but come to Him anyway… we show Him something beautiful. We show Him humility. We show Him a blank slate where He can write His name. We show Him someone who is stripped of their own pride and agenda and are ready to follow and do things His way.
GOD WILL NEVER TURN AWAY THE CONTRITE.
I keep coming back to Him because with Him there is hope, peace, grace, joy, strength, love and wisdom.
God bless you and keep you.
View CommentHi Peter,
Our conversation inspired me to write a new story. Please read The Physician and be encouraged.
http://wp.me/p2y3hD-rj
No matter how many times we fall, the journey back is all it takes for God to restore you to Himself.
View Commentthat’s the nature of God. He is a God, of “I don’t care how far, you have gone
View CommentThanks for reading and commenting dear
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